Have you ever read any of those "what if books"? You know the type where someone takes a historical event and changes one minor event and the entire timeline of history changes. How about the "Choose your own adventure" books? These are the books where you begin reading and after a number of pages you get to choose what the main character of the books does. So you pick a path, turn to that page and continue to read. Well tonight I wish I had a do over, but I am glad that God is sovereign and he can use our choices for his glory despite us.

Tonight I spent the evening talking and serving food to the homeless of Scranton. It has been my desire for the last year to get involved in doing this and it was only recently that my schedule opened up so I could help out the Scranton Rescue Mission. Tonight was only the second time I attended and I felt unsure of myself the whole time. Where should I be? What should I do? Should I just burst into the gospel or start off building some relationships. So when the service started I felt relieved I could listen and then help in serving. But afterwards God gave me two opportunities to serve, but not with food.

The first was three young men mentioned in passing needing a ride to their new residence. Me being timid and unsure of what I ought to do heard it and talk a little about it but I did not offer assistance. Should I have given them a ride? I do not know. The first thoughts through my mind where not service, but safety and concern for my own life. These guys in no way seemed dangerous, but I was not yet comfortable offering the three of them a ride. I think I may have done it for one, but three intimidated me to much.

The other was on the way home, but actually it started 2 1/2 hours before when I was running late or so I thought. I had planned to pick up a free 12oz hot beverage from Borders on the way in, but a dear friend and brother in Christ called which delayed my departure a few miniutes. No problem I told myself. I would just go after the meetings. Once at the meeting I found myself about 30 minutes early. So I went over after a few minutes of prayer and thought regarding what I ought to do and I talked with Frankie. [FAST FORWARD TO ME RIDE HOME]. On my way to Borders now so I got my Seatles Best 12oz Gingerbread Latte and headed to my car where I meet a man looking for gas money. So in my haste to get home to my lovely bride and children I trusted the man and give him some cash. Jumped in my car and headed on home. It is at this point that my mind, heart, soul, and the spirit of God begins to work. I have this thought, "Why did I not ask his name or give him mine. How
about instead of giving money to who knows what why did I not offer to
fill his whole tank at the nearby sheetz? Why was I not more prepared with tracks or a Bible?" Any option would have
shown I cared less about me and more about his situtation. So the entire ride home I pondered, "What God can make me more sensitive to your stepping into my life with the lives of others?" He knows I pray for these types of opportunities, but why do I not see them when they are before me.

So i am thinking I did it again. I missed an opportunity to be used by God, but then I had another thought. Was God surprised by my reactions in either situation? No! Was he caught off guard and so now he needs to alter his plans for my life and that of these other people? No! Truly God is not hampered by me when it comes to ministering to others. He knew my reactions before I knew that I was going to be living in NEPA. He has been orchestrating many things in my life and guilding me through them. While I may have missed two chances to be a witness he gave me two events to learn about my weakness and to grow from them. Truly God can use all events to his Glory.

Recently I have been praying that God would make it clear to me what I
needed to be learning. I have felt so out of touch from his spirit's leading as I listen to friends of mine talk about the lessons God is teaching them. But tonight I realized that I have not been listening to him speak. During ABF hour God delivered a message directly related to this topic via our teacher from Matthew 19 & 20. "What am I holding back?" "What sacrifice do I need to make for an investment into the Kingdom of God?" God wants me to be willing to break my schedule for the sake of others. God wants me to learn how I can love others more unselfishly. But the big thing I think God wants me to learn is that I need to be more aware of my surroundings and then ACT, MOVE OUT, DO SOMETHING for Him - minster to those around me. I mentioned missing two witness opportunities above, but in the last month in my focus on my life I missed out on a final opportunity to be a witness to my literal neighbor. Today he sleeps and even though I spoke to him of Christ before I know not where he is spending eternity tonight.

I pray and long for the day that when God drives a
stranger across my path and instead of thinking about getting to my
destination I want to ask myself, "How can I go the extra mile for them."

Please pray for me as I learn to be aware of my environment and then act for God's glory in it.

Godspeed and goodnight,
Wesley